Creative Piece

Okay, what up guys? I had this project to do for my first year seminar class and we constantly talking about "the self."  I'm pretty much over this topic study, and just might go insane if I hear anything about "the self" again.  Our assignment was to come up with an essential question and explore that question by coming up with a creative piece with an artist inquiry to go along with it.  Of course, I procrastinated, but I decided to go with "Why is the essence of self so different?"  I referred back to "The Bundle Theory" and a poem "The Way it Is" which both explain that there are things about yourself that can't be change, and people will probably never understand that.  Our experiences and our upbringing I believe made us the person we are today.  So yeah, I originally wanted to record this poem and present it to the class because I NEVER read my poems out loud, but I had no other choice.  My teacher pretty much made me.  So I had everybody close their eyes as I read. It's hard for me to put emotion into my poems when I read them because all of my emotions are on the paper.  I was nervous as hell, but everyone loved it, and I got great feedback which I gladly appreciated.  Well, here it is finally.  Feel free to leave comments.  I won't be offended. Hope you all enjoy it.

What do you see when you look at me?

Am I just a black girl who lives in the most dangerous city?

Or is everything peaches and cream & I’m living all high and sadity?

You see I could’ve died at birth

But I must’ve had a purpose because my mother saw my worth

It was either her or me and she chose me

Now I’m living on this demented earth

She survived, so I continue to thrive

It hurt my soul to leave my brother

And to have to watch him suffer

I cried every night

Worrying, praying, hoping everything would be alright

But I had to make a change for me

I saw a lot of things I never thought I would see

From one of my closest friends laughing with me

To him laying right in front of me

Then my dad dipped

I guess he said fuck our relationship

Prejudged and misjudged

But I promised to never budge

I’m probably the sweetest girl to you

But the coldest bitch to them

But honestly, I’m just me

Don’t you see?

This is just a piece of me

And I bet it changed your perception of me

And yet you still don’t know the real me

In order for you to understand me

You gotta feel like I feel

And deal like I deal

There’s that saying

Everything I’m not make me everything I am

Well, everything I was made me who I am today

Copyright 2012 Marvalace